But I'm not really into Mpreg fiction – although there was a nice one I read a couple of months ago where Cas gives Dean an egg (no explanation of how that popped out!) and Dean becomes super-protective of it.
I'm really struggling to get down to the writing - thank goodness for the E/O drabbles.
Just last night I wrote a drabble for Tool Box - it's kinda SPN still, since it's got Fate in it... but it was a joy to write.
But most of the writing recently has been for The Three Faces of Winchester. It's been really, really hard going, but at danger of blowing my own trumpet, I'm really happy with it. Maybe. This darn thing's a millstone round my neck, I'm not sure I'll ever post a work-in-progress again.
The way things seem to be heading there’s a lot of Meg/Tom coming up over the next couple of chapters and personally I think some of it’s a little sick. Since they're demons I guess that's the point. It's not my fault, you know how characters write themselves...
This week the word of the week was "Storm" and everyone seemed to write a damn fine drabble.
(this is an advert for 'Artemis', a UK Investment company - everytime I see it I think of Supernatural)
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters - these were created by Eric Kripke - I'm just borrowing them. I'm not making any commercial gain. No harm or infringement intended.
E/O Challenge: Storm. 'The Storm' a 100 word drabble. A storm rages overhead triggering unpleasant memories. Spoilers for up to early season 7. Non-Wincest Hurt/Comfort.( Read more... )
Because, let's be totally honest here, if I wasn't interested in reviews I wouldn't be posting my SPN fanfics to a public forum now, would I?
Even when they can be a bit negative, after I've got over that horrible stomach-dropping feeling, I usually realise, eventually, that it was (probably) done from a position of love.
I like to give a decent review (although I'll admit if I read several chapters in one sitting, I'm unlikely to review each one individually) and sometimes this is my downfall - sometimes I end up not saying anything at all due to lack of time/ennui/position of the stars, etc.
Maybe I should just "favourite"? Some people get really wound up about this, they want a review, but hey it's better than nothing, and I reckon it's proof they at least like it! (With the hit counter you never know if people stopped reading after the first sentence). I don't tend to use this function much myself - I tend to set an alert on the writers I like.
But I've had a couple of cases of people setting alerts on my fanfics which to me are quite clearly complete, and I don't know how to take it. Part of me is "Oh great, you liked that fic. Shame you're too busy to review", the other is "But it's finished! Why must you always demand more, more, more!! The pressure's too much!!".
Maybe I'm over-analysing...
These are actually the second pair I've owned, a male/female pair, the first two were killed by a fox.
They're Aylesbury Ducks, which means they're big and have amazingly huge, white-feathered wings - or they're white when they've not been flapping about in the mud. I tell you, ducks are dirty.
When they're chicks they have yellow feathers, then they moult (which they then seem do a couple of times a year) - and the first time this happened I commented it was like "an explosion in a pillow factory". What a great phrase - I squirreled it away for future use.
After finishing "The End of the World" I needed to write a couple of lighter fics, I did that with a couple of drabbles, but I needed to do something a bit more, and I was already part way through "Castiel's Day" (I seem to quite often come up with a new fic while working on a current one - plus I'm a big fan of writing something else if I find I get stuck with my current work).
The phrase came up in conversation and it clicked in my head and so "Scritch, Scritch, Scritch" was born! (I'm not sure I like the title though)
I had some really nice comments, unfortunately many anonymous, so I can't reply with thanks, but one comment did make me laugh...
"i just have to say it (because reading this means that i'm not studying for my biology finals): arthropods molt. Birds do not molt. Nor do angels...to the best of my knowledge. ;)"
Am I missing some difference in meaning because I used the US "molt" instead of my more normal "moult"? (I like to write SPN in US English - it's a "stylist affectation"!)
I have a dog too, and she definitely moults, seemingly constantly!
I think you really need to study for that biology test!
BTW I googled "arthropod" and screamed like a baby!
Ages ago got talking to Tribble Master on FanFiction.net who gave me the prompt of "Dean can't find his way home" - it turned into "No Way Home" - wow, talk about a tonic as at the time I was really struggling to write anything or come up with any ideas.
The whole idea of the story was kind of my backlash to Dean suddenly not drinking in that week's episode after so much being made of him having an alcohol problem. (And I felt a bit aggrieved because that story line had made me realise that I was in a phase of drinking far more than I should too)
One of the lines that jumped into my head was "Lucifer is now a constant presence; giggling, plotting, and whispering rude comments in his ear"
And just like that another "The Devil on Your Shoulder" was born - I actually wrote out most of it while still only half-way through "No Way Home".
I started to attend Church not quite two months ago, so had the recent benefit of a Halloween sermon that referenced the Devil, specifically about not listening to him, and that the little voice inside our head telling us that we're "no good" is just as much Satan as the guy with the pitchfork.
I thought it would be fun to start it like one of these "Sam falls in love with Lucifer and they all live happily ever after" stories, I even gave him a cutsie nickname Luce. And then it gets dark, very, very dark.
And of course the "black-in-black eyes" are an homage to the blue-in-blue eyes of the Fremen in Frank Herbert's Dune.
Being a fledgling Baptist and all, it then seemed natural to do things in threes, so then I felt compelled to write a third in the series "Castiel's Day", in three parts itself no less. Since I'd started writing about the Devil with info gathered at Halloween, it seemed ideal to concentrate on All Saint's Day instead, or Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos ) – when I realised that one of the names for this celebration was Day of the Little Angels (Día de los Angelitos) I was obviously hooked!
I used an awesome quote from Martin Luther King, who was also a Baptist pastor:
The universe is under the control of a loving purpose, and that in the struggle for righteousness man has cosmic companionship (angels). Behind the harsh appearance of the world there is a benign power
So much, but not all ("sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" – Freud), of what I write about Supernatural is me testing out my thoughts about other things, and so apologies if the religious content is a somewhat high at the moment.
How can I write about Castiel without addressing redemption? How can I write about redemption without addressing God? How can I write about Chuck without including Death? Where else other than a Supernatural fanfic can you write a story that discusses life, death, God, Satan, redemption, the meaning of life, the nature of belief, seeking redemption, and man-crushes?
I lost the link and can't find the article, but I read a conjecture that since we're created in God's image, basically God has all our emotions, but wider/deeper/more intensely. With that in mind I finished the second chapter with the following lines that bring me close to tears each time I read them:
"I'm supposed to be vengeful and wrathful," the author sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
The thin man passed him a neatly pressed, monogrammed handkerchief, "Of course you are."
Castiel mentions in passing in chapter one how grateful he is to be beneath God's notice, and of course the terrible truth revealed in chapter two is that God actually has a soft spot for him.
Chapter three is Castiel fulfilling his function as a messenger of God – literally taking what Chuck has related to him and using it to help the Winchesters.
Much of the criticism of Sam's character development is to do with him being or becoming "evil", but I think this is the character's strength – no matter how much is thrown at him he just gets on with it and adapts – and so this is exactly what he does.
But I do feel sad for Sammy, I'm married to my OTP, I ship Dean/Cas as a OTP, who's Sam got?
The FanFic's been great for working things out, and getting stuff off my mind, I think because I can hide behind the characters.
I really feel like I written some okay stuff recently, and the E/O Challenge has been like a God-send in keeping me writing. It's so simple, who would have guessed that the trick to beating writer's block seems to be to actually write something down :)
Finding out last month that Nic had killed herself was shocking, an unexpected punch to the gut, even though it's been a couple of year's now since I last saw her, so it's almost like I don't feel I have a right to be upset. The worst thing is how angry I feel with her. My main memories of her are her appalling inability to make a decent cup of tea, and a photo of us all sitting on the sofa with the dog and laughing, and it makes me weep, and I want to scream at her. I can't help but remember Dad coming back from the service of a work colleague who'd killed himself and how shaken he'd seemed when he described how damning the chaplain had been about what faced suicides in the afterlife.
I wrote Prayer for Better Times at the time I found out, then recently End of the World to try to describe how angry I felt, obviously it's primarily about Dean/Cas so it's not autobiographical, but I can't help wishing there was something I could have done. There are people in my life now that I worry about and I feel that I should, and need to, reach out to and even now I still find it so hard to do. I almost didn't publish, I'm not sure how people are going to react to it - I don't really care if people don't like it, so long as they don't hate on it.
Opheliac Angel is now finished - In a way I'm sad that it's done, but I was getting a bit freaked out about what was going to happen in S7 and didn't want that interfering with my ideas of how I wanted it to end.
Happy Birthday is also finished - not such a need to rush this, but I'd come up with the ending that I wanted, but it was the lead up to this that was the most difficult to write. It's five chapters long, not bad for a one-shot!
No Leaf Clover is finished and published - this thing is a monstrosity, what with its huge wadges of clunky dialogue where Nyarlathotep expounds at length on the nature of existence while leering over Sam. Definitely had to be published pre-7.01, and yes, I'm a little disappointed that the premier wasn't Lovecraftian - but that's a minor, minor point, as I thought it was an awesome episode.
Plus I've also started the E/O Drabble Challenge - which is run by Enkidu07 and Onyx Moonbeam at fanfiction.net - I've managed to write a couple of exactly 100 self-contained stories based on word prompt.
So what's next?
Hmmm, not sure, but I have made some tentative attempts at continuing The Three Faces of Winchester...
On the plus side all those missing tweets turned up in one go (yes, that was sarcasm)
"Happy Birthday" - the last chapter's pretty much been done for a while, but I'm still struggling with the penultimate one.
Even though Frank has spoken, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to dust off No Leaf Clover in time before the explosion in FanFic that'll inevitably hit come Friday...
So now I've switched off the light of a character that I've feel like I've lived and breathed for the last month - it really is my own heart I've broken.
I'm just tidying the last chapter - honestly I think it's done, I'm just having problems letting go - especially since I wrote the last scene months ago.
I'm also working on Happy Birthday and really enjoying writing Bobby's character - here's another fic I've written back to front, again having written the end a while back.
I can't believe this story started as just a little idea and a short one-off chapter and just kept growing. As I PM'd to Opheliac Angel the other day, I'm going to really miss my sweet little shifter!
Recently some of my best work's been "flow of consciousness" on the commute followed by a late evening spell check, rewrite and general polish. Trouble is that from today everyone is now back at work and the trains were completely overflowing again. Claustrophobia kicked in big time and I eventually had to get off shaking like a freakin' leaf - which was totally embarrassing, not to mention it made me late for work and meant I wasn't able to do any writing. Eventual;y a train arrived that wasn't packed to the rafters and by the time I got to work I felt like I'd already done a full day.
I'm working predominately on the last chapter of Happy Birthday, some of it from Bobby's PoV, but I'm generally happy with it, but it's taking such a long time to hammer out the details.
One of the serendipitous aspects of writing this story has been the discovery of a New Zealand band called "Shapeshifter" - I particularly like Dutchies.
I've obviously been drinking too much recently because I keep typing bare, then changing it bear. I just realised that I mean beer and had to correct about three mispellings!
Have I picked up some kind of strange internal accent?
I'd expected the second post of Happy Birthday to be the last one - but it only got one review and that was to update soon! Then a little idea popped into my head - so hopefully there will be another chapter, but it will really be the last one this time!
On the other hand I really do need to post some other stories soon or otherwise I risk being overtaken by the next season.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
I've recently published a new Supernatural story at FanFiction, called Happy Birthday – it’s set just after 1.06 Skin.
The idea’s been kicking around inside my head for quite a while now, it was originally inspired by The Birthday Massacre song of the same name, although it’s changed so much over time that the only thing they have in common now is the title!
What was nice is that this is another band I’ve found I like through Fanfiction – I remember reading about them on someone’s FF profile page. Unfortunately I can’t remember who it was!
Maybe it was you dear reader? Ha! Who am I kidding? I’m the only one reading these!
I’ve just completed the second, and probably final, part – but I reckon I might be in for a bit of a flaming. The conclusion is a little unexpected... I’m hoping that it’s not too out of character. Sometimes we just have to accept what we’re given... and if it’s better than what we had?
Hopefully people won’t get too upset; after all I might be ‘keen for Dean’, but I do like Sam too... just not as much.
I’ve continued to work on Opheliac Angel, I want to avoid the situation I’m in with The Three Faces of Winchester where there are long, long gaps between chapters as we suffer the vagaries of my muse Frank.
I’ve not looked at No Leaf Clover in ages... I’m worried that I’m going to be overtaken by the Supernatural promos and spoilers. I need to just get on with it... story of my life, and no doubt my line manager’s refrain....
I think I've cracked one of my biggest blocks - which is what Balthazar's motivation is for trying to help Sam avoid getting his soul back. It just doesn't make sense in the series - feel free to try to explain it to me.
This little fic has totally got aware from me though, and one little crack scene about Bobby's possible canonisation at the beginning is now far more important to the basis of the story. I've taken inspiration from a couple of early verses in 1 Corinthians 6 - but I then realised that some of the later ones are a bit problematic for me - I added a throw away comment from Balthazar that kinda addresses this - and I'm hoping that people will take this in the spirit of love that it's meant, and not take unintentional offence.
I feel really bad because I've not got very much of Chapter 8 of Three Faces of Winchester written - literally just a couple of paras. Plus I've pretty much abandoned (for now) my Sam-and-the-OuterGods story - it doesn't seem to have an actual plot - it's a bit like an Anita Blake novel in that it's just lots of supernatural hotties flouncing about making really cool entrances in fabulous clothes, looking, well, hot. Then there's a bit of mystical sex, then they all go home. Job done!
I also wrote a bit more about God and Dean baking pie. I actually wrote it on my phone while standing on the train on the commute home, cackling away like a loon:
( Baking with God and Dean... )
Now we're told the gunman felt it was "gruesome, but necessary". I'm not sure I want to hear an explanation, I can't imagine there is anything he can say that's going to make me understand the reasons for his actions - other than the obvious that he's insane.
At the risk of trivialising the incident, it did fit in with the recurring idea in my writing over the last couple of weeks of "Why do terrible things happen to good people"?
I've been trying to write several stories at once, including the Three Faces of Winchester Chapter 7 which is focusing on the episode "Faith". It really tied in with Layla's quote at the end where she says "If you're gonna have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don't"
I'd also found the quote below on a religious website called FaithDefenders, while "researching" for my story "Opheliac Angel",
I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining,
I believe in love even when I am alone,
I believe in God even when He is silent.
I thought it was beautiful - it really resonates with what I believe.
While I was Googling to see who said it , I found it had been adapted into a song called "I Believe in Love" by BarlowGirl
I'd not heard of this group before, I like the song and what it stands for, but I don't share all the specific beliefs that BarlowGirl seem to promote elsewhere.
The reason for the visit to the FaithDefenders site (among others) was that I wanted to get the religious skinny on the "end justifies the means". Is it okay to do evil in the cause of good?
Obviously Cas thinks it is, so does Sue Ann the preacher's wife in "Faith", so too does the Norwegian gunman with his talk of "gruesome, but necessary".
Not sure about the FaithDefenders site it seems to be arguing humans are inherently evil by default - I don't agree with that - I think it's probably true to say that no one thinks they are evil, and as they quote:
Proverbs 16:2: “All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives.”
We might think we're doing good, but God knows what's truly in our heart when perhaps we don't know ourselves.
The other quote I found was:
“He who does not punish evil, commands it to be done.” Leonardo da Vinci
I realise that this probably conflicts with the messages above, but the sense is that by standing by and allowing evil to happen we tacitly giving approval for that evil to continue.
didn't really deal with this in Chapter 7, but in the episode Faith this is best expressed by Dean wanting Layla to be cured, but knowing that by allowing it to happen he was condemning someone else to death - therefore he couldn't allow it to carry on. The closest I came was Dean's questions about his survival at the cost of Marshall - but that also draws in Dean's feelings of worthlessness, which really deserves a chapter all of its own!
I was hit with a run sudden plot inspiration for this one. I wrote this one fairly quickly, although I did have to Google "Johnny Appleseed".
Frank, my plot bunny, was standing over me with a big stick until I wrote this one (metaphorically/metaphysically/meta-
Unfortunately the last week or so I've had a few sudden ideas, but not had the means to note them down - by the time I do the idea's been lost :( This seems to happen a lot when I'm running - I guess music is a big inspiration for me, plus I'm often thinking about the stories.... oh well. Luckily this time I had the space to just get on with it. I felt I'd finished, but then didn't have enough time to post, so ended up coming back several hours later and made lots of improvements.
So I think my lessons here are to just write, and if I get stuck to just try writing something else. Then, when finished to come back after a period of time and review the whole thing again with fresh eyes. Oh, and never post on a Thursday - the day no one seems to read!
( No More Pie )